


It's called ASMR, Sam

by amazeballs



Series: Bucky Barnes The ASMR-tist [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: ASMR, Anxiety, Bucky Barnes Recovering, Bucky Barnes and the 21st Century, Bucky the asmr-tist, Canon Compliant, Cap Sam, Captain America Sam Wilson, Depression, Everything is Beautiful and Nothing Hurts, Fluff, M/M, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Recovery, Sam Wilson is Captain America, Sam Wilson is a Gift, but thats only mentioned bc, for now at least, okay there was a cap sam tag I got worried.., why is that not a tag.., yeah sorry y'all its
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-19
Updated: 2019-08-19
Packaged: 2020-09-07 23:09:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20317561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amazeballs/pseuds/amazeballs
Summary: "It's called ASMR, Sam!" Bucky defended himself."It's almost 3 fucking a.m. Come back to bed. Please?" Sam sighed."Fine. But Sam, listen!" Bucky whined.Sam sighed, but crossed his arms, signaling that fine, he'd stay, but goddamn Bucky, get a move-on!So, Bucky smiled and started hitting the whisk against his metal arm again.______Bucky discovers ASMR, and Sam doesn't really know what to think.





	It's called ASMR, Sam

**Author's Note:**

> HI its me :D
> 
> FIRST OF ALL @ everyone who's reading my HS au.... im very sorry for not updating in a veryyyyyy long time. but exams happened, and my motivation has been non-existent for MONTHS. im getting it back slowly but surely, and soon there'll be an update i promise :)
> 
> SECOND OF ALL this fic is a little idea i had on twitter and that grew with the help of [armena](https://twitter.com/royaIseb), [faith](https://twitter.com/etherealstarks) and [angel](https://twitter.com/WlLSONSBUCK), so thank you very much!! go check them out :D
> 
> also thank you to [emma](https://twitter.com/wallcwspidey), [dana](https://twitter.com/bruceyboo), and rin for beta reading it for me!

At the suggestion of his therapist, Bucky Barnes started watching ASMR. He'd googled it on his way home, and read through the Wikipedia article.  _ Autonomous sensory meridian response.  _ It sounded sort of... dangerous? But if Dr. Aaron Fjord said it would work, Bucky would try it. Dr. Fjord had told Bucky about his husband, a fellow vet, and how ASMR had helped him relax and sometimes even fall asleep. Sleep. Bucky felt like he barely knew sleep these days.

Even though it had been almost two years since Steve left, the nightmares and the trauma still tortured Bucky. But every time he woke up in the middle of the night, screaming and crying, Sam was there, right beside him. He would cup Bucky's face in his large hands and slowly coach him back to reality with soft kisses and whispered words. Bucky loved him for it. Loved him so incredibly much.

But that's beside the point. Sort of. 

When Bucky got home that day, the flat was empty. There was a sticky note on the fridge informing him that Sam was on a mission, that he'd be back in three or so days, and that he loved Bucky very  _ very _ much. Bucky smiled and pressed his lips to the thin paper, knowing Sam had done the same before he left, then put it back on the fridge. He had a mission of his own, after all. ASMR.

With his phone in hand, Bucky plopped down on the couch. He wrapped a blanket around himself and proceeded to open the YouTube app. Surprisingly enough, typing ASMR into the search bar and pressing  _ search _ gave him... a shit ton of results.

"Oh..." he mumbled. He had no idea it was so popular! Not that Bucky knew about everything that was popular, but Peter Parker usually kept him in the loops. Or at least within spitting distance of the loops. So he made himself a mental note to ask Parker about it at some point.

Bucky had absolutely no idea what to expect. The Wikipedia page had been informative, as they all were. In fact, Bucky thought of himself as somewhat of a... Wikipedia expert (nerd). There were so many articles, about so many things! Bucky could spend hours clicking on the  _ Random article  _ button, reading through all of them and being fascinated by every single one. Some were very long and sometimes even boring, some quite short, some were  _ too  _ short. Bucky considered the ASMR article (the ASMR-ticle, hehe) to be medium length. 

It was an interesting subject to read about, even though it had made him a little anxious. Brain massage and brain orgasms didn't sound very... comfortable. And tingles and triggers made him rethink his decision to check it out in the first place. But Bucky trusted his therapist. Had it helped other vets, it could help him, too. Right?

He chose a video titled Doing Your Lovely Face Painting by someone called Latte ASMR. The girl looked sweet, harmless, and like no one he'd encountered during his time with Hydra.

_ "Hello. Welcome to this lovely festival today,"  _ the girl, Latte (what kinda name was that?), whispered. Bucky blinked, a little surprised to hear her whisper. The article on Wikipedia had mentioned it, but it was still a little shocking. He liked it though. A lot. And 15 minutes later he was asleep on his couch at five in the afternoon. On his phone, the video was still playing, Latte's soft voice telling him what she was doing as she brushed the camera lens with a paintbrush.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Needless to say, Bucky fell head over heels for ASMR. He subscribed to Latte ASMR, and then ASMR Jonie, then Elise who gave him a french bikini wax consult, and then many more ASMR-tist’s. It was just so goddamn relaxing. And so nice! The positive affirmations ones were a strong favourite. When Sam wasn't home and life just was  _ not _ going Bucky's way (which was more often than not it seemed) he'd curl up in bed under ten blankets and choose one at random, and as soon as the ASMR-tist said that he was beautiful or strong or valid or whatever, he'd burst into tears. It felt nice to just cry, to just let it all out. So what if he pretended it was Sam that was whispering to him, and that the weight of his blankets was actually the weight of Sam's body and embrace?

It helped him. A lot. But he didn't tell told Dr. Fjord about it until about four weeks later.

Their session was almost over, and as usual, Aaron asked if there was anything Bucky would like to bring up.

Nodding awkwardly, Bucky said, "I started watching ASMR."

"Oh?" Aaron asked. He wrote something in his notes but kept his eyes on Bucky.

"Yeah. I like it. Thank you."

"That's good," Dr. Fjord smiled. "Anything in particular?"

"Tapping. And positive affirmations."

The smile grew, "yeah? My husband likes those too."

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Even though ASMR became such a big part of Bucky's life, he never really told Sam about it. Didn't really ever think about telling him, honestly. Because when Sam was home there was no need for blanket piles and positive affirmations from a stranger; Sam was there to positively affirm him whenever Bucky asked! And when he watched ASMR just before bed, Bucky always wore headphones and Sam never asked. So yeah, it was never brought up.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Two months after discovering ASMR Bucky began tapping on things. It just came to him subconsciously. The first time it happened he was at the store with Sam. He'd been sent to get the cereals he wanted as if he was some sort of  _ child _ and Sam was his Mom. Ugh. He parted with Sam and went to pick up his preferred kind of cereal (Frosted Flakes), and then he went to find Sam again. Which was an impossible task, obviously. Without really thinking about it, Bucky started tapping on the cereal box as he roamed around the store, hoping he’d magically bump into Sam. The box made a very nice sound. Sort of hollow, but full. And a little crunchy. He liked it. 

The second time it happened he was taking a shower that ended up lasting 40 minutes because he was crouched down on the wet floor as the water pounded down on his back, very occupied with tapping on the different shampoo bottles, listening to the sounds and comparing the sound of each bottle, but also the different sounds his two different hands made. His flesh and blood hand sounded like the tapping in the videos on YouTube. The metal hand, on the other hand, gave a more... harsh sound. Still pleasant, but like, pleasant with an edge. Yeah. 

The third time, he was with Peter Parker. Sam was gone on a mission, and Bucky was lonely. So who did he call? A teenager. Bucky really needed more friends. Sam, Sharon Carter, and Peter really weren’t enough. Anyway. Peter Parker was going on about something, and Bucky was only listening with one ear because  _ oh my god _ , tapping on the paperback that Sam had been reading sounded really good.

"Are you listening, Bucky?" Peter asked, and Bucky snapped out of it.

"Huh?" he blinks. "I was just... tapping?"

"Like ASMR?" Peter asked, eyebrows drawn together. "You watch ASMR?"

"Yes. I do. I like it a lot, actually! Why haven't you told me about it?"

"Dunno. Didn't think you'd be into it."

Bucky shrugs, "I am. It's nice."

Peter just hummed in agreement, so Bucky went back to tapping.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Sam didn't discover Bucky's love for ASMR until two months later.

It was late, but Bucky couldn't sleep. He'd tried ASMR, tried counting sheep or whatever, but nothing worked. Feeling restless, Bucky got up at around 2 a.m. and went to get a glass of water.  _ Naturally _ , five minutes later he was sitting on the floor, holding his favourite mug (a white one with Shakespearean insults on that Sharon gave him last Christmas) to his ear as he tapped on it. He smiled, even giggled a little. It made a really nice sound in Bucky's opinion. After a few minutes, he put it down though and went looking for a  _ new  _ sound, his quest for water completely forgotten.

He opened the cupboard under the sink but closed it very quickly, nose scrunched up at the stench of the trash-can they had there.

"Someone needs to deal with that," Bucky muttered to himself,  _ someone who isn't me. _

The search for a new sound didn't take that long, though. In the third drawer that he opened, he found a whisk. Letting out a little 'ooo' sound, he picked it up and studied it closely. It had a plastic handle that looked green, but Bucky wasn’t sure, because it was so damn dark. Bucky nodded to himself and starting gently hitting his metal arm with the whisk. He gasped, completely in love with the new-found sound. For some unknown, probably strange and fucked up reason, Bucky enjoyed the sound of metal on metal. Or metal on any other material, really. There weren't that many  _ pure _ metal ASMR videos, though. Which sort of broke Bucky's heart. But god! This sound. It was amazing. Bucky sat down on the floor, eyes closed and just... hit himself with... a whisk...

"What the hell, Bucky?"

Bucky opened his eyes, and light flooded his vision. He groaned and rubbed his eyes, dropping the whisk, which was, by the way, green. Sam was there, one hand on the light switch and the other one on his hip, eyes locked on his boyfriend on the floor.

"It's called ASMR, Sam!" Bucky defended himself.

"It's almost 3 fucking a.m. Come back to bed. Please?" Sam sighed.

"Fine. But  _ Sam _ , listen!" Bucky whined.

Sam sighed, but crossed his arms, signaling that fine, he'd stay, but goddamn Bucky, get a move-on! So, Bucky smiled and started hitting the whisk against his metal arm again.

"Isn't it nice?" Bucky asked, anticipating Sam's reaction with wide eyes.

Sam stared at him like he was crazy, and he probably looked crazy. Sitting on the kitchen floor, wearing sweatpants DIY-ed into sweatshorts, one sock with the iconic red, white and blue shield on, the other foot bare. There was a band-aid on his left knee that really didn’t need to be there at all, but Bucky really wanted the Black Widow band-aids from CVS because sometimes he really fucking missed Natasha, okay? His t-shirt was probably one of Sam's, and half his hair was in a bun, and the rest of it is just a loose mess. Then, of course, there was the fact that he was hitting himself (gently!) with a whisk.

"Sure, Buck, 's real nice. Come back to bed?" Sam said, holding his hand out for Bucky.

Bucky grinned, even though Sam probably didn't mean it, and got up. After the whisk was back in its correct drawer, Bucky took Sam's hand and intertwined their fingers.

"I love you," he mumbled, pressing a kiss to Sam's lips.

"Love you, too, dumbass."  
  


**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading! comments and kudos makes me INCREDIBLY happy and motivates me to write more *ahem*
> 
> love, aki (thats me)
> 
> [my tumblr](https://buckybcrk.tumblr.com) (new!)  
[my twitter](https://twitter.com/buckybork) (also new bc i was suspended lol)
> 
> check out the [natasha edit](https://twitter.com/buckybork/status/1163536976601112577?s=20) that i posted today :D
> 
> also yeehaw! links to the asmr channels and videos mentioned in this fic bc im nice like that
> 
> \- [Latte ASMR](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCQe2Y7V-C9bNMAcCJCBvzQQ)  
\- [Doing Your Lovely Face Painting](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i0VLGF8Tvjo&t=1048s)  
\- [ASMR Jonie](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCo7kA3XcXrqS8_cbz5GboCg)  
\- [Elise](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UChCV973VxXQjLXmDo2Ufqzw)  
\- [French bikini wax consult](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7jxZzk2yfCE&t=426s)


End file.
